Enjoy Heaven Mama...

    My mother really hated being helpless. I think everyone does. Perhaps the hardest thing to bear in life is a heartbreaking situation that is beyond a person's control.  She went from a vibrant, vigorous person to struggling with a body that no longer worked due to crippling Arthritis.

      Incredible sorrows are in this world, because this is a world of sin. With my mother, I saw so much sorrow for her in her last days.  I spent those days taking care of her, and there were times when I was so tired I could hardly stand. Nevertheless, I would do it all over again if I should be asked to.  Although I would never ask her to come back into this world, especially the way she was during her last months I miss her so much. Not a day goes by I don't shed a few tears knowing I cannot pick up the phone and call her, or step into her bedroom to give her a hug.

    Even from my childhood, I always wanted to fix things for people. My great desire was to make everyone happy. This probably stems from watching my mother always be the first to pitch in and help those who were in need of help. She was at her happiest times when she was helping someone else.

To watch my mother become the invalid she became was a heartbreaking thing.  The first painful thing to see was when she had to go to the wheelchair, no longer able to walk. I remember how it hurt her pride to become dependent on me, or others to push her around.  But, the very hardest was when she lost her eyesight. Oh, how many times I have heard her say, “if only God would let me gain back enough sight to read my ‘bible, I would be satisfied.”  So many wonderful people came and volunteered to read to her and it always put a smile on her face…

* Have mercy on me, O LORD , for I am in distress; my eyes waste away with grief, my soul and my body   Psalm 31:9(NKJV).

     There were times when I have had to sit back and just ask God, “Please Lord, take control.” Well, whatever made me think I had the control anyhow?   Maybe that's what my mother meant when she would often remind me, "pride goeth before a fall." I never thought I was proud. Far from it!  However, what if I was. I thought I was working through God, but was I instead, taking over? Who am I, to think I could do it alone. Then along came the stroke and other anguish illnesses. Often I reminded myself that I am a very small person and have very little power to change things, no matter how much I long to.

* But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love. Psalm 33:18

     Isn't it wonderful to know, that an all-powerful God doesn’t sleep, but watches over His people.  He allows things to happen at times that we will never understand on this earth. We can know with certainty, that He works ALL things together for good, to those who love Him. The Bible says so! When we discover our own weaknesses, it is like falling off a roof. In absolute helplessness, our loving Savior with His everlasting arms catches us when we fall. When we know our own failures, His arms are where we can find peace.  Even in the darkest hours we have a "peace that passeth understanding.”  If we never felt helplessness,  we would not experience our redeeming grace.

I am at peace with my mother’s death. I know she is finally Home.  She doesn’t have to worry about gaining her eyesight, she has it. She doesn’t have to worry about having someone push her in a wheelchair any longer, she has new legs. I can promise you, she has already run up and down Heaven’s golden streets, telling everyone how happy she is to be home.  During these past two years Her testimony was always the same, “I’m just waiting on my Lord, to take me home. When it is His time I am ready to go because I am tired and I want to see all my loved ones who are waiting for me.” 

So, if I could say one thing to my mother it would be, “Enjoy Heaven mama, you have finally made it home.”