Just Beyond the Sunset....

Three long, lonely months have passed since my dear husband died. It seems more like a lifetime.  I still find myself listening for the sound of his wheelchair as he makes his way down the hall; I listen for his voice calling out to me, “What’s for breakfast, doll?”  I listen for him, he is not there, and I must face the fact he is not coming back.

I never knew how much things could change in one’s life until my husband was no longer with me.

I realized instantly I am on a journey of loneliness and it is not an easy journey to walk.

Each night as I lay down to sleep, I ask myself the same question, “What did I miss most about him today?”

Was it his kind voice, his gentle touch, or his constant smile –Was it his laughter, his silly jokes, or his sense of humor even when I had lost mine? Was it his advice when I didn’t ask for it.  Was it his calming nature when I was in a panic... Is it reaching for his hand and not feeling his fingers slip between mine; is it the evenings when the two of us would go over the events of our day, sharing our disappointments, or our joys. Or, was it our goodnight kiss we always shared?   I realize it is all of these things. I miss everything about him. I miss HIM!

When death comes to your spouse, it robs you of your sense of hope for a little while, you wonder if life will bring you any happiness again. Grief is powerful and will not instantly go away.  It stays awhile and robs you of your peace of mind.  However, I am a firm believer that the tears that flow are the river that will eventually lead me to a healing stream ---A stream where peace will once again take hold and a smile will once again appear on my face.

 If I could tell Curtis, one thing it would be, “Rest well, my love. One day I will walk out of the shadows of loneliness and into the sunshine of contentment and peace.  Although I will never forget you, I am slowly learning to smile again.  I will go on with my life and patiently wait to once again see your smile as I run toward you, just beyond the sunset.”

 

Beyond the sunset, Oh blissful morning
When with our Savior, Heaven is begun
Earth stroll is ending, Oh glorious dawning
Beyond the sunset when day is done.

Should you go first and I remain to walk the road alone,
I'll live in memory's garden dear with happy days we've known,
In spring I'll watch for roses red when fades of lilac's blue,
In early fall when the brown leaves call I'll catch a glimpse of you.
Should you go first and I remain to finish with the scroll,
No lengthening shadows shall creep in to make this life seem droll.
We've known so much of happiness yes we've had our cup of joy,
And memory is one gift of God that death cannot destroy.

Should you go first and I remain one thing I'd have you do,
Walk slowly down that long path for soon I'll follow you,
I want to know each step you take that I may walk the same,
For someday down that lonely road you'll hear me call,
Yes you'll hear me call your name.

Beyond the sunset, Oh glad reunion
With our dear loved ones who've gone before,
In that fair homeland we'll know no partin,g
Beyond the sunset for evermore.
(For evermore)

Lyrics from the recording of Red Foley.

Walk with God,

Mary Frances King